Demon Realm

May 2017 Featured RPG

Not good enough

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Tagged: Lexis Marako, Belladonna Rose
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Find Lexis Marako

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Played by Willow
Human with Civil Demon
Legion
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Posted | 04-10-2018, 01:40 PM

Hurt, mad, sad, pissed off. How many emotions could a person feel at once? Did Lexis even have a right to feel so... hurt over Emory's choices in life? She was also upset with herself. Lexis had mixed emotions on everything with Bell, this whole open relationship possibility thing.. confused her. Yes, she understood... what the other woman wanted, she just had a hard time understanding why she, Lexis wasn't good enough for anyone. Emory saw right through her, Bell wasn't the monogamous type, and then Lexis just.. didn't fit in. Anywhere. Her and Emory got into an actual argument about his 'match'. He had accidentally insulted Lexis, not even aware.. but then he gave her hope that maybe he would see her. Maybe his eyes would open one day.

It was late when Lexis dragged herself to the Rose house. Her clothes were a bit disheveled from running earlier, but Lexis wore slacks, a blouse, and a jacket as she made her way to the porch. Standing there feeling awkward Lexis text Bell. I'm on the porch and could use some company if you're free? It was dumb to just show up... she should have called before even driving this way. Batibat, her demon was silent lately. It was a nice break if Lexis was honest, but it also meant her demon actually felt bad with what happened.

Groaning, Lexis ran her fingers through her hair and put her phone in her jacket before starting to walk away. Bell didn't need her just showing up at near midnight. This was dumb. "Fuck" Lexis mumbled as she tried to sneak away.

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Posted | 04-10-2018, 01:50 PM

Bell was not, in fact, asleep. She was working on her book, and she needed a break. She’d just gone down to the kitchen to get some coffee when he got the text from Lexis. Her eyes softened a little, and she smiled. She did like spending time with her wife—which was such a strange thing to think of. She’d never really been the type to like the idea of marriage, thinking it a silly construct over all. But knowing that she had someone who could take care of her if things went wrong and she found herself unable to take care of herself. She hadn’t known how worried she was about it until she’d realized she didn’t have to worry.

So she poured a second cup of coffee, and she poked her head outside. “Lexis. Hey, come on in—I have some coffee brewing… You look like you need it. Rough day at work?” Her glasses were perched low on her nose, her smile warm and inviting.

Find Lexis Marako

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Posted | 04-10-2018, 02:04 PM

When Lexis heard Bell she froze. Well, there went her sneaking off plan. The thing about Bell, she made Lexis feel comfortable, at ease, relaxed. Maybe the situation wasn't perfect, maybe Lexis was the one that needed to change, but there was no denying the fact Bell was pleasant to be around. "Uhh, something like that." She replied before making her way inside.

As they made their way towards the kitchen Lexis took her jacket off, and tried to smooth the wrinkles out of her clothes, and her messy hair. "I hope I'm not interrupting.... it's probably really rude of me to just.. show up at your place." What if she had been on a date? Or literally sleeping with someone, or maybe out having fun? This was confusing. "I just, was hoping to see you... and then.. I.. I don't know." She mumbled looking at the coffee as her mind went back to the pie and coffee Emory argued over just earlier.

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Posted | 04-10-2018, 02:13 PM

Bell blinked and she smiled, setting the mugs on the island counter. “You’re not interrupting. I was just taking a break from my novel. It’s dragging a bit—I might be in a bit of a slump.” She shrugged her shoulders, and her eyes softened. “I don’t mind you showing up unannounced. I might not always have time, but I will never be mad at you for coming to visit. Even if I have… guests, I’m much more likely to ask you to join in than be upset with you.” Her voice was gentle, and she looked at Lexis seriously.

“… You look like you need some open ears. Consider mine unlocked and ready to listen, honey.” She looked at her seriously as she sipped her coffee. She wanted to help, that was clear as could be, and she didn’t seem in any fuss to go anywhere. “You don’t have to worry about anyone overhearing, either. All the bedrooms are in the floors above, so we’re pretty private here.”

Find Lexis Marako

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Played by Willow
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Posted | 04-10-2018, 02:26 PM

Lexis flushed at the thought of Bell inviting her to join if she happened to have 'guests'. She was pretty sure that would be.. well, a situation she had never been in. Lexis would likely be a mess. It was Bell's invitation to talk that made the detective nearly slump and cry, but she held it together. Her first instinct was to turn down the offer. Pretend everything was okay, and move on. But it wasn't okay, and Lexis was tearing herself apart trying to fit in.. someplace. After a moment Lexis sighed and leaned against the counter tucking her hair behind her ears clearly giving herself time to think where to start.

"My partner and I got into a bit of an argument at work... well, before work really. We have a ritual.. since we are both dedicated to the job... and work over time so much, we get pie for breakfast once a week... something to force ourselves to take a moment to relax." She explained not looking at Bell, but at her own feet instead. "Anyways, I have... I've always had feelings for Emory, between Batibat being a bitch and teasing me, and clearly just.. I'm sure you know from how I talk about him..." This felt weird. Lexis paused. She was telling her wife, about feelings for another person. It was hard to get past the social norms.

"Anyways... we were talking about well, you.. well, his red string first... then you. Anyways." She was babbling. "He made me feel... like. I don't know. He was married, a long time ago... and he never really moved past that loss. But, the string matched him with a woman that has baggage, and is busy, and... he just... he sees her.. and I don't get it. If anyone is going to understand him, it's me. I am there for him. Every damn day. I'm so close, yet so far away. I don't think he even knows..." She sighed. "Anyways... I was.. um.. jealous. The conversation got pretty heated..." Lexis flushed not able to look at Bell.

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Posted | 04-10-2018, 02:43 PM

Bell listened, like she promised. She waited, and when she thought she was done, she reached out and took her hand. “Thank you for telling me, love. Now, you already know I’m a bit older than you, so… I hope you don’t mind listening to this old woman offer a bit of advice.” She winked at her, and she brushed her thumb over the back of her hand. She paused a moment, to consider the best way to talk to her, to explain what she thought needed to be said.

“… Humans are dense. And they all heal in different ways. Emory… I don’t know him. But sometimes, the people we are closest to are the ones we don’t see as clearly. You’re his partner at work, right? So you’ve been slotted into that mindset. He’s grieving a loss, and suddenly, it’s like the universe is telling him to move on. So he’s going to listen, because he thinks that’s what’s supposed to be. If he believes in some religion, he might think it’s from the powers that be. And that’s not something you’re going to be able to change. Maybe one day he’ll be able to open his eyes and see the beautiful, stunning, intelligent woman right next to him, but until then… not everyone is like me.”

She smiled wryly. “He’s married now, and if he’s as loyal as he sounds, he’s going to stick with that marriage. And that’s the sign of a good man, yes, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt you. And you are allowed to feel hurt. You are allowed to feel angry that he doesn’t notice you.” Her voice was soft. “It’s his loss, not seeing you. But you know what? There are people who see that. Who see you’re good, and warm, and smart as hell.”

She rubbed the back of her neck, and said, “You said the conversation got heated? Let me take a wild guess. ‘You should focus on your marriage, make her see that marriage is supposed to be between two people and only two people.’ Something like that?” She pitched her voice to a lower, mocking masculine level. And then she said, “Thing is… If you have to change someone to love them, you never loved them at all. You loved the idea behind them, and that’s not fair to anyone. Happiness is dictated by the person who is trying to be happy. Don’t let other people tell you how you’re supposed to feel, what you’re supposed to accept. That is up to you, and everyone else can go shove their opinions up their asses. Including me.” She grinned at her.

Find Lexis Marako

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Played by Willow
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Posted | 04-10-2018, 03:11 PM

Lexis looked up when Bell took her hand. As the other woman spoke, Lexis listened. Normally, Lexis felt smart, secure, like she knew her place in the world, but when it came to love, marriage, relationships.. Lexis was lost... and Bell was her guiding light so to speak. Of course, Bell got some of it right, some close. And Lexis sighed.

"But, the whole changing another person... is that not similar to someone who has lived their life thinking a relationship, a marriage, is two people... and asking that person to look past that? Think outside the social norm?" Lexis felt herself wanting to cry, but she held back. "bell, I don't feel good enough. I feel like I wasn't good enough for Emory, I'm not good enough for you. I'm lost, and I just... I don't know how to find my way." It felt like life, a higher power... something was just screwing with her. Making Lexis miserable. "I just... I don't like this feeling. Feeling so... hurt, insecure, jealous. I've never been that person before... and now I am.. I don't like it. I feel... I don't know. I debated asking to be reassigned... but Emory needs me. I just." She paused to sigh. "I'm sorry, I am really trying." Lexis felt like a bit of a hypocrite. Bell was willing to out Lexis first, and Lexis was deep down holding out for Emory to fall madly in love with her.

"I'm a terrible wife." She mumbled and went back to staring at her own feet.

Find Belladonna Rose

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Posted | 04-10-2018, 03:40 PM

Bell listened, and her eyes softened a little. “… You’re right. It’s not fair. But it’s also not fair to ask someone to change completely… So, how about this: we come up with a system. If I find someone I’m interested in, I’ll discuss it with you. But I won’t go out and randomly find someone, and I won’t sleep around. I will be here when you need me.” She looked at her seriously. “You’re not a bad wife for feeling like you do. You’re talking to me, and communication is the most important part of any relationship, baring actual feelings.” Her voice was firm.

“And here’s the thing—Emory might need you? But you have to be a little selfish, honey. Do you need him? Do you need to keep feeling the way you do?” She looked at her seriously. “My advice? Talk to him. Tell him how you feel, because being overlooked is killing you inside. Don’t tell him to try and convince him—tell him to be honest, and to clear the air. It’s not fair to either of you for you to be miserable.”

Find Lexis Marako

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Played by Willow
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Posted | 04-10-2018, 04:40 PM

Bell's offer made Lexis blink surprised. She hadn't expected this conversation to go past the fact this was who they were. They could try to make it work or not. She didn't think bell would reduce her 'dating' so to speak. When Bell's thoughts on telling Emory came up, Lexis paled. It might ruin everything. It might make it so Lexis has to be reassigned.

Lexis nodded and was silent for a few heartbeats. "Thank you." She whispered. "Maybe this will work. We can talk about it... And maybe I'll stop by more?" Lexis pushed herself off the counter to close the distance between them. "I'll think about telling Emory." Which terrified her, but bell made good arguments. She wrapped her arms around Bell's neck before kissing the other woman's cheek. "Well, since you helped me, can I help you and your book issue? Maybe you need to throw a sexy detective in there that wins over the main character with her kick ass curves and pretty eyes." Lexis laughed as she played with Bell's hair.

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Posted | 04-15-2018, 01:03 AM

Bell smiled, and she said, “We’re married, Lexis. That makes us partners, in many senses of the word. Trust me when I say, I want to spend time with you, and I want you to be happy. I like you.” She said it matter of factly. And then she blinked as she suddenly had the younger woman in her arms. Her lips curved up into a slow smile, and she looped her arms around her waist, looking pleased.

“I would very much like to see more of you, honey.” The suggestion had her lips curving up, and she hummed, nuzzling noses with her. Her lips ghosted within range of her wife’s, almost a kiss, and she murmured, “That would certainly spice things up.” Her hands brushed over her lower back. This was nice, the warmth of another person. It was one of the things she most craved. She liked how Lexis fit in her arms.

Find Lexis Marako

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Played by Willow
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Posted | 04-15-2018, 08:05 PM

It was a strange feeling to hear the fact someone act liked her. Wanted to be around her. Bell nearly kissed Lexis which brought a small noise, nearly a whimper from the detective. She hadn't realized how much contact was missed. “Want to tell me what's going on in the book? Maybe I really can help? Or maybe a distraction is needed for a little bit?” a smirk crossed Lexis as she rubbed her nose against Bell's. “Maybe Netflix?” yes, Lexis was hinting at 'netflix and chill’ even if she wasn't sure that was a thing anymore.

After a moment Lexis gained her courage to being her lips to Bell's. A soft and chaste kiss. There was a desire for more, she wasn't even aware of the fact her dominion over pheromones tried to kick up. Subconsciously Lexis wanted Bell to want her. To be with her. Yet, the detective was afraid of rejection. Terrified of being pushed away.

When Lexis pulled away her gaze searched the other woman's. Her eyes filled with the fear that ran through her. Please don't push me away, they scream. Hold me. Want me. Love me.

“Bell….” Lexis whispered words caught in her throat.

Find Belladonna Rose

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Posted | 04-21-2018, 01:51 AM

Lexis making the first move surprised Bell, but pleased her at the same time. Bell kissed her back, but only had a moment before the woman was breaking the kiss. Her eyes softened, and she whispered, “It’s alright, Lexis.” Her voice was low, her ascension soothing and warm, mixing with her own pheromones as she held Lexis tighter, pulled her closer.

Bell leaned in, pressing their lips together in a much firmer kiss, more sure than Lexis’ had been. One hand came up to frame Lexis’ face, to hold her, to touch as she kissed her deeply. She wanted Lexis, she really did. Bell often found herself thinking of her wife, something she wasn’t really used to. It wasn’t a bad thing, however.

Find Lexis Marako

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Played by Willow
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Posted | 04-21-2018, 10:40 PM

Bell pulled Lexis closer making the detective flush. This kiss was better, and Lexis melted into it. Her hands ran down Bell's sides as they kissed. Fire ignited inside of her as her hands moved to Bell's back. Rubbing, lingering, light caresses. When the kiss broke Lexis was breathless as she rested her forehead against the other woman's. Feeling wanted for the first time... In she wasn't sure how long caused Lexis to get lost in the moment. Her Hands moved to Bell's hips lightly moving them towards the counter so Lexis was pressed against her wife.

Her head tilted so Lexis could kiss Bell's neck. Words couldn't describe what she felt. What she wanted. More. Her. Now. She moved her hands to rub over Bell's abs playing with her shirt as she pulled away from the other woman neck.

"Umm... Bedroom?" She mumbled softly.

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